Was I naïve to put my faith in ‘good dudes’ like Aziz Ansari?

Aziz Ansari: has been accused of sexual misconduct by a woman he dated in 2017
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Alice-Azania Jarvis15 January 2018
WEST END FINAL

Get our award-winning daily news email featuring exclusive stories, opinion and expert analysis

I would like to be emailed about offers, event and updates from Evening Standard. Read our privacy notice.

They say you shouldn’t meet your heroes; perhaps, this year, the maxim should be “don’t have heroes at all”.

First Kevin Spacey, then Louis CK. But as a Master of None fan, I read the allegations surrounding its creator Aziz Ansari with mounting horror.

The story, reported by the website Babe.net, starts innocently: a 23-year-old photographer meets Ansari, 34, at an Emmys after-party. They swap numbers, arrange a date. On meeting up, she claims, he took her to an oyster bar and then to his apartment.

There follows, she alleges, a dance of advances (from him) and attempts (by her) at evasion. They kiss; she leaves without having full sex. Throughout, she says, she showed distress by “pulling away and mumbling”. At one point, she claims to have said: “I don’t want to feel forced because then I’ll hate you.” Nevertheless, he persisted. Ansari has responded, saying he believed the encounter to be “completely consensual.” Whatever the fallout, one thing is clear: in 2018, it shouldn’t need to be said that a woman flirting, agreeing to a date or going home with you does not make her “fair game”. Yet to judge by those defending Ansari’s alleged behaviour as simple “persuasion” and “trivial”, it still does.

The irony is that the comedy which these apologists so love is meant to represent a new version of the form: emotionally intelligent, alert to the nuances of sexual politics. One storyline in Master of None explores what happens when a likeable character (“Chef Jeff”) is exposed as a sex pest himself; Ansari has said he wanted to “pull the rug” from under the audience and “reveal that he’s actually not a good dude”.

Picking up his Best Actor Golden Globe this month, Ansari was pictured wearing a Time’s Up pin, in support of the anti-sexual harassment movement. So was James Franco — another actor accused of inappropriate behaviour (which he denies). Until allegations emerged that he removed the genital guards worn by actresses in a sex scene, he was also seen by many as liberal, Hillary-supporting, an ally. Likewise, media firm Vice, forced to apologise after reports of sexual harassment there, was meant to represent a fresh, right-on approach to journalism.

It’s all too easy, when causes such as women’s and LGBT+ rights and racial equality become fashionable, to presume that all who claim to support them do so sincerely. For a long time

I assumed that while older men can behave like dinosaurs, my generation was more enlightened. My male friends are feminists, we all believe in equality — surely it’s only a matter of time before such values became the norm. Was I naive? The way 2018 is unfolding, I fear the answer is yes.

Heists that come back to haunt me

Ever since last week’s jewellery heist at the Ritz Paris, I’ve been experiencing post-traumatic flashbacks. Not, you understand, because I’ve been the victim of a similar crime but because the affair takes me back to spring 2015, when I was asked to write a feature about the Hatton Garden thefts, which saw a giant haul of valuables snatched from London’s jewellery district over the Easter weekend.

After consulting various hardened investigators and security experts on their views, my article confidently concluded with the prediction that the thieves would never be found, having surely long ago fled the country. Sadly, by the time it appeared in print, the entire Hatton Garden gang had already been arrested, killing off any future I might have had as a crime correspondent.

The Brits hit the spot with Dua Lipa’s five nominations

Congratulations former ES Magazine cover star Dua Lipa. The British-Kosovan singer is up for five Brit awards, including best album.

It has become fashionable to write off the Brits as corporate now that stars no longer crash one another’s performances (as Jarvis Cocker did to Michael Jackson’s in 1996) or dump buckets of water over deputy PMs (à la Chumbawamba drummer Danbert Nobacon to John Prescott in 1998). Still, I retain a soft spot. When I was growing up in South Africa, a relative in the UK sent me the Brit Awards 1997 CD. Complete with Underworld’s Born Slippy, Babybird’s You’re Gorgeous and Don’t Look Back In Anger by Oasis, it was hopelessly glamorous to me, a bookish 12-year-old on the other side of the world, and one of the best compilations I’ve owned.

Jax Jones, up for best single with You Don’t Know Me, has promised to “fully deinstitutionalise” this year’s awards and “ bring the raucous”. Things are looking up.

Don’t be SAD, salute the sun

Fellow SAD-sufferers, rejoice! According to the Met Office, tomorrow will be the first day since the solstice on December 21 that the sun has risen earlier than 8am.

While I can just about tolerate the dark evenings, there’s something peculiarly discombobulating about dragging yourself from your home in the pitch black.

It may just be a minute’s difference, but symbolically that 8am threshold is a big one. An end to winter gloom is in sight.

Create a FREE account to continue reading

eros

Registration is a free and easy way to support our journalism.

Join our community where you can: comment on stories; sign up to newsletters; enter competitions and access content on our app.

Your email address

Must be at least 6 characters, include an upper and lower case character and a number

You must be at least 18 years old to create an account

* Required fields

Already have an account? SIGN IN

By clicking Create Account you confirm that your data has been entered correctly and you have read and agree to our Terms of use , Cookie policy and Privacy policy .

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged in

MORE ABOUT