I know what Jake Daniels is going through because I did it myself

The FA via Getty Images
Lianne Sanderson19 May 2022
WEST END FINAL

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I was getting off the Tube in east London on Tuesday when my phone started buzzing. It didn’t stop. I thought something must have happened — something big. And when I heard Jake Daniels had become the first openly gay men’s football player in England, I was delighted. It takes real bravery to do that.

I know because I was the first English pro to come out. Twelve years ago it seemed like a non-story — it was featured on Sky Sports and picked up in America, but it wasn’t treated as a big deal. Even now people don’t realise I was the first, which is great.

It should be a non-event, but really it isn’t. That’s why what Jake Daniels has done is so good. He’s fighting the male, macho stereotype that dominates men’s football, where nobody is allowed to be gay. In the women’s game the stereotype is different — that everyone is gay. Both are ignorant and wrong.

Jake is allowing other people, especially other male footballers, to feel comfortable about themselves. He will also have lifted a weight from his shoulders — when he first came out to his family he scored four goals the day after.

That’s because he didn’t have to lie any more. There are so many people I know who have lied about where they spent their weekends and who with. I know teammates that have had partners for 10 years without feeling able to tell people. It’s not easy saying something — everyone’s circumstances are different. And it’s not easy being the first. When I go to play in other countries it becomes the biggest story of me being there.

I played for Juventus in Italy and, while the Italians were lovely, I felt I was becoming Lianne Sanderson, the gay footballer, not Lianne Sanderson who happens to be gay. I’ve played in World Cups, the Champions League final, I’ve won best player in England — and all that was bypassed. Jake will go through that process. Eventually, though, you come out the other side and think “now I can get on with my life”. While it’s great being a trailblazer, for the person who goes through it, it’s quite draining.

What makes it easier are allies. Seeing Gary Lineker and the Barcelona men’s team, among others, speak out on this was great because it’s exactly what needs to happen for progress.

Other people, who at the moment have not come out, will take heart when they see the massive amount of positive reaction Daniels has got. Of course, not everybody’s going to be happy because unfortunately bigotry and homophobia still exist. But really it’s the allies we have that matter. They can give their support, and counter that bigotry, even when it comes to things they haven’t experienced themselves. What matters is everybody speaking up. I hope — and think — that the next person to come out won’t even need to do so. They will just post a picture with their boyfriend or girlfriend and it becomes a non-story. People like Jake, me, US footballer Megan Rapinoe, go through that tough stuff so others can have the freedom. It’s worth it.

In other news...

The Lionesses squad for the women’s Euros this summer was announced yesterday — and I don’t want to sound like every English person before a major tournament — but the time is now. The tournament is being held here. The women’s game is finally getting the coverage it deserves. The FA is investing.

The players have everything they need. Before now, excuses could be made. The players were part-time and semi-pro. But now they have the financial comfort, there’s no room for those excuses. The squad is a good mix of youth and experience. Good leadership from seasoned, well-known players like Ellen White and Steph Houghton will be vital. The Lionesses are ruthless, they’ve scored goals and they look like they’re in good form. But the truth is we’ve been underwhelming in recent international tournaments. Now it’s in our backyard, it’s time to step up and win.

Lianne Sanderson has won 50 caps for England

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