Lucy Tobin: The Invisible Girlfriend should disappear now

A generation’s obsession with portraying an idealised life means we are left with mostly unsocial networks
Rubbish: the Invisible Girlfriend is a kind of virtual, sexless prostitution
Lucy Tobin5 September 2014
WEST END FINAL

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Just when you thought a generation could sink no further in its quest for self-mythification, along came “Invisible Girlfriend”.

Aimed at the masses who already snap, filter and Photoshop every holiday, wedding and meal to maximise the jealousy of near-strangers on social networks, this Frankenstein creation of a website invites lonely men to sink their (real) money into the creation of a fake partner. The fake lover will text and phone their owner, leave them public (fake) messages of affection on Facebook and look, according to the developers, “like someone you’re not ashamed to bring home to mum, a home-body bridging the gap between Plain Jane and a wildcard... obtainable and believable”.

Those who buy into this virtual world “will choose a girlfriend from our extensive library, customise her personality to your tastes and decide how you will interact. Then you’ll be able to live your life the way you want”.

If, that is, the way you want to live your life is by deriving happiness only from impressing others. The Invisible Girlfriend’s developers (and, yes, a male equivalent is on its way) spin their idea as one that will make it easier for workaholics to wave away relationship grillings from their mum or avoid awkward social situations. What rubbish: anyone can easily make up their own lies about meeting “someone from the gym”; thousands have been doing so for decades.

The Invisible Girlfriend is actually the opposite of its moniker — a very public lie created for a self-promoting generation that’s grown up not just blagging our way into parties but posting selfies with jealousy-inducing glitzy backgrounds at said events; one that sits with friends but is more interested in what virtual friends are showing off about on Twitter.

As a business idea, the Invisible Girlfriend fails a key test: it’s easily nickable. Anyone with a spare few hours to whisper sweet nothings to someone he or she doesn’t know could launch this business. It’s a kind of virtual, sexless prostitution.

But what a sad tale it tells of our society that someone thinks there’s enough demand out there to sustain a business based entirely on people propagating a myth of being in the perfect, Hollywood-ised relationship.

Today, a generation’s obsession with portraying an idealised, airbrushed life means we are left with mostly unsocial networks. So how long until one of these fake fairy tales results in an unhappily ever after: another vulnerable online addict sinking into depression on the false belief that while their friends are being smothered in virtual kisses and tagged at their (pseudo) lover’s house, they are the only unhappily single person around, feeling adrift and mediocre.

Will the unemployed soon be offered the “chance” to pay for a fake boss to post pretend pay cheques and fool their family into thinking they’ve found a new job? Will pseudo-brides and grooms be offering up their services for non-weds to pretend to be newlyweds online?

Or will there be a realisation that happiness is best obtained in the real world — whether via an actual significant other who directs affection at a person, not their Facebook page, or having a real laugh with a friend, not with half an eye on a smartphone. Virtual, invisible anythings don’t have quite the same effect.

Twitter: @lucytobin

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