I was initially resistant to wearing a “baby on board” badge. I worried it would scream, “Look at me, VIP coming through.” But as the hormone migraines kicked in, my muscles began to ache and my feet began to swell, I no longer fretted about so audaciously demanding special attention.
But I needn’t have worried: no one on the Tube could care less whether you’re pregnant or not.
Well, that’s not strictly true. In my experience, it’s men who couldn’t care less if you’re pregnant.
I have been dismayed at the lack of compassion from the opposite sex.
I’m still confused how he could genuinely think his testicles were more important than the cantaloupe-sized baby I had wriggling around in my stomach
I have been crushed in busy Tubes, thrown around as trains hurtle along the track and had my stomach squashed as people refused to move to let me off. I can count on three fingers the men who have given up their seat for me. One particular charmer was manspreading so aggressively that I couldn’t fit in the seat next to him. When I asked him if he would mind moving his legs, he replied with, “No, I’m not going to crush my balls for you”. I’m still confused how he could genuinely think his testicles were bigger and more important than the cantaloupe-sized baby I had wriggling around in my stomach. I shan’t repeat what I said to him here, but I’m sure it gave him something to talk about on whatever incel forum he spends his time on.
I have found women, on the other hand, almost tribal in their desire to protect. They have asked people to move on my behalf and cleared paths when I couldn’t get out. I see them checking along the carriage preemptively making sure they’ll be somewhere for me to sit.
At the very least, most women will give a warm, encouraging smile. The solidarity is deeply reassuring at the end of a long day as the soles of your feet burn and your back begins to throb.
Sadly, it’s not just pregnant women who can often be dismissed. I was talking to a woman who, on the way back from a particularly gruelling chemotherapy session, explaining her situation asked someone for a seat on the bus so she could rest. They refused. Come on London, do better.
Suzannah Ramsdale is lifestyle director for the Evening Standard
