A tenner to bring my own birthday cake? Yes, chef

Natasha Pszenicki
WEST END FINAL

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Are you familiar with #cakeage? One word, rather than “cake age” — though some strange corner of the web probably does debate sell-by-dates of Victoria sponges — cakeage is corkage, except it’s nothing to do with wine and everything to do with birthdays. Which is not to say wine shouldn’t have everything to do with birthdays too. Wine is sort of the point of birthdays. 

Cakeage is not new — it’s one of those unsparing subjects that annually gets an airing on Food Twitter, alongside no-shows, Michelin’s senility and whether or not foie gras is a delicious, necessary evil. This latest round of hashtag tomfoolery kicked off on Monday when scriptwriter Ivor Baddiel happened to mention he’d rung a restaurant, asked about bringing his own cake, and was told that the restaurant would of course accommodate — at a cost of £10-a-head. “What is this world we live in?” wheezed Baddiel. Cue viral outrage, 27,000 likes and a chance to blather about it with Jeremy Vine, the voice of Middle England. 

Granted, being charged a tenner to have your own food served to you is steep. It perhaps shows a curmudgeonly approach to looking after guests, especially when they’re celebrating. Even with the various economic factors taken into account — that tables remain hogged, puddings go un-ordered, staff must serve and plates are used — ten quid’s a bit much.

Steady on. It’s almost as though the restaurant is whacking on a great big charge exactly because they don’t actually want people eating someone else’s food in their place. Funny that. Next they’ll be banning bringing your own Aunt Bessie’s on Sundays. 

But my problem isn’t really to do with whether restaurants are being tight or customers are taking the mick. The entire thing is just deeply weird. The whole point of going to a restaurant is to have a good time, to enjoy its cooking and its welcome and its clearing up, too. If not, going out would be a facsimile of staying in, only with added inconvenience and expense. You don’t go to the cinema only to pull out your phone, pull up YouTube and nudge your mates — “Seen this?” Taking food to restaurants is bizarre, and not to say a little disrespectful. So leave your Colin at home next time. And for all those quoting Marie Antoinette? Shut your cake hole. 

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